Lord what a day! It was just one of those days of synchronicity where I took a small step to go beyond my current limitations and the world around me just gave me thumbs up again and again.
All day I was aware of the Temple Dance workshop I was scheduled to facilitate at Akila Yoga. I dreaded and looked forward to this event, my first workshop on my own. I haven’t yet come to a place of comfort going around Panama by myself. I’m disoriented and self-conscious and vaguely reminded of my time in India with guys gawking at me in the street. So far, anyone I’ve talked to though, especially taxi drivers, are really helpful, even sweet, same goes for India (yes, I think most auto guys in India are very decent and friendly!). So I was eager to get to my destination asap and get inside the shelter of the yoga studio where the challenge of conducting a workshop waited for me.
Noticing my shaky nerves as I left Radhe’s safe house, I wondered to myself, ‘Why am I doing this? Why do I need to leave my safe place?’ but the answer was right there next to the question: to Grow, to Grow. Because I wanted to get to Akila yoga well ahead of the 6.30 starting time, I left Radhe’s at 5.10 sure that I would reach the studio around 5.30, since its less than 15 minutes away. But cab after cab zoomed by fully occupied, and I stood there in the street feeling very conspicuous in my body. Eventually there were three of us on the sidewalk waving at cabs, and I felt comforted that I wasn’t the only one. I was relieved to discover they both spoke English, which most people in Panama don’t. It turned out we were all going in the same direction too. Just as it started pouring, we finally got a cab and piled in together. In the taxi, the bubbly girl introduced herself and we started talking like we were old friends. It is not often in my travels that I make an instant friend like that!
But an hour later I was still in the taxi and only inching forward. It was Friday, payday, and rainy, Stephanie explained although it wasn’t usual for it to take this long to arrive. When I understood that I would be late for my own workshop, whatever nervousness I had just dissipated. It was very similar to my feeling last year at Panama’s televised Teleton when my ankle-bells burst and I had a long rope of bells dragging by my foot: my nervousness became supreme calm, a feeling of freedom to the tune of this: okay Lord, I did my best to make this a professional event, as I wish it to be. But now it’s out of my control because you have other plans, so I’m free!
So I sat in the back of the taxi with a smile, feeling the Lord’s hand in my life. Once I reached Akila, I felt so blessed to share my dance with a beautiful group of women, and I was touched by their eagerness to learn, their laughter, and warmheartedness. It was pure joy! And I know that I was able to feel so open-hearted myself because of my feeling that ‘this is in your hands now, Lord.’ The last thing I want is to be late for a workshop I’m conducting. How unprofessional! But my plans are so small, I’m simply waiting for God to step in and take over.