Today I’m very pleased with myself and thankful to have 4 hours to myself. I still sort of marvel at the fact that I can wake up and decide ‘today I will dance’ and then I do it! I’ve spent far too much time thinking instead of doing, so I still surprise myself with my doings 🙂
By the way, The Mayapuris album rocks for work-outs (believe it or not, I’ve never used it for this before)! I warmed up to the soft yet emotional ‘Ramachandra’ and then I went right into action with ‘Conundrum’
I’m happy with this improv, and I see a new maturity here in my improving
Next, just for fun, here is my ‘Shiva Shiva’ work-out. Join me if you dare 🙂
Finally, I have a few thoughts on my relationship to Bharata Natyam. Sometimes BN feels like a close intimate friend. But suddenly it will feel like it totally belongs to others and I’m laying a dubious claim to it. There are rules about for example dress that I don’t abide by or understand. I wonder if ‘those who know’ would be offended by my casual attire here.
It’s dawning on me that I haven’t trusted my dance-skills. Even if beautiful and good now, I’ve been afraid of loosing it, afraid of not being able to do it anymore. In other words, not a dependable skill. This explains a lot about my discomfort with compliments. I just haven’t known with certainty if I will be able to live up that again. What pressure! I’m not saying I’m free of it, but I do feel a blooming joy when I dance and when I acknowledge my own skills. Why is it so difficult to say ‘yes I’m an excellent dancer’? I simply do not feel comfortable saying such things in any area of my life, and I marvel at most Americans easy way of saying ‘I’m awesome!’ Lord, this proves I’m not American ya’ll!
If you watched both the freestyle and the BN, I’m curious to hear your thoughts about it. Personally I feel content after dancing and plan to enjoy the rest of my Sunday now.